CRIMINAL RECORD
#SBPD123DG135HI18
| FILE NUMBER | #123456789 |
| PURPOSE CODE | A-12345-6(7) |
| SRU ID | A123 |
FINGERPRINTS
ARREST AND SENSITIVE INFO
| NAME | KAIN |
| AGE | 24 |
| HEIGHT | 6’2 |
| SEX | MALE |
| ETHNICITY | PUNJABI |
“The only words coming out of your mouth are hot air, and that's pretty damn impressive coming from a fat piece of shit like you. and i don't think those folks will stop their jack off session for one dead guy, occupational hazard you know?”[THE MAIN CHARACTER] the embodiment of human trash; in other words, what we wish to be but society won't allow us to be. Described as a hotheaded punk Kain is easily annoyed & quickly resorts to profanities and violence, often getting him & others into trouble. he tends to kick back and indulge himself in the most common pleasures known to man: custard pastries.After serving 12 years of a 40-year sentence, Kain raises eyebrows with his sudden freedom. Rumors swirl about connections that facilitated the early release. its especially Strange because he tends to piss people off more than make connections with them.
| Criminal offences | Notes | Year |
|---|---|---|
| auto theft | Engaging in car theft, resulting in significant property damage. | 1949 |
| Mass destruction | classified | 1950 |
| Conspiracy | aiding and abetting in high-profile incident. | 1950 |
| Vandalism | Garden gnomes | 1951 |
| Manslaughter | self-proclaimed fratricide | 1952 |
| homicide | fatally wounding inmate with a chicken bone | 1958 |
| public indecency | n/a | 1960 |
| Multiple counts of murder | isolated but deliberate killings. collectively demonstrates a pattern of intentional and unlawful violence. | 1965 |
enjoys desserts, he has hypoglycaemia so hes always on the verge of passing out if he doesnt get his daily super cutesy pastry.he kind of has a blood phobia, you're wondering how that works since i always draw him covered in blood??? haha.Kain resembles a cereal mascot in the saint basin world this fact fuels 5% of kains anger. he often gets comparisons like “hey you look like-“ and he will start seeing red. please dont bring up cereal mascots.Heres Kains spotify playlist, this is what i imagine his soundtrack in a movie would be.
IMPORTANT NOTICES
| Prominent markings/observations | info |
|---|---|
| Scars | Uneven X shaped scar on his face between his eyes and nose, the staples he received for the wound were never removed and were healed into the scar. |
| Moles | has three distinct moles on his face. two under his right eye and one under his left |
| Biggest Peeve | Long dramatic monologues. seriously he hates them. |
| Employment | currently working as a Janitor |
| Residence | lives with an old lady with dementia, she thinks hes her grandson. Kain is hilariously polite. |
CRIMINAL RECORD
#SBPD123DG135HI18
| FILE NUMBER | #123456789 |
| PURPOSE CODE | A-12345-6(7) |
| SRU ID | A123 |
FINGERPRINTS
ARREST AND SENSITIVE INFO
| NAME | RIZER SCHAFER |
| AGE | 27 |
| HEIGHT | 6’3 |
| SEX | MALE |
| ETHNICITY | DANISH/GERMANIC |
"If You're Committed Enough, You Can Make Any Story Work! I Once Convinced Congress I Was apart of the board for three days straight, And It Worked because People will always take you more seriously if you wear a suit.”[THE DENTIST] one quickly learns of Rizers innate ability to act as if he knows more than what he is letting on. Careful and meticulous, He enjoys chaos and plays both sides to get his desired outcome, Rizer prides himself on being a walking contradiction. he has his own Dental clinic but he indulges in any obscure job he can insert himself into- golf ball diver, dog surfing instructor you name it! i guess he's bored…?Conversation is his specialty unlike his abrasive counterpart, Rizer pushes this extremely comedic and obnoxious persona so people tend never take him too seriously. hes charming and always seem to know how to keep a conversation flowing in his favour.
| Criminal offences | Notes | Year |
|---|---|---|
| Tampering with patient records | N/A | 1954 |
| impersonation | N/A | 1957 |
| Dental malpractice | used laughing gas instead of anaesthesia | 1959 |
| loitering | being a general public nuisance | 1960 |
Rizers blindness is actually a neurological issue caused from a brain injury and not from natural bad eyesight. he is considered legally blind and is quite sensitive to lights although he never makes this obvious.The Schafer Family has a monopoly on the pharmaceutical industries in Saint Basin (and a bunch of other things more specific to the world) and they're also heavily involved in the politics of the city, although Rizer is the black sheep of his family and they are not closely involved. that doesnt stop the name alone from being in Rizers favour.Heres Rizers spotify playlist, its kind of all of the place but lots of jazz vibes.
IMPORTANT NOTICES
| Prominent markings/observations | info |
|---|---|
| Teeth | He has really sharp teeth, was he born like that? |
| dimples/smile lines | Rizer has really prominent dimples and smile lines |
| hair gel | Rizer tends to gel his hair up in an id like to call a stick-your-finger-in-an-outlet look. i wonder what he looks like with his hair down…. |
| accent | he has a bit of a danish accent but that’s irrelevant because this is a comic. i still wanted to point it out though |
CRIMINAL RECORD
#SBPD123DG135HI18
| FILE NUMBER | #123456789 |
| PURPOSE CODE | A-12345-6(7) |
| SRU ID | A123 |
FINGERPRINTS
ARREST AND SENSITIVE INFO
| NAME | YAKOV |
| AGE | 20 |
| HEIGHT | 6’5 |
| SEX | MALE |
| ETHNICITY | KAZAKH |
“Did your advertising guy get his degree at a strip mall community college? You’re as funny as a car crash, but you definitely attract the same kind of attention. seriously kid You wanna know the secret to a happy life? Just lower you expectations.”[THE TRICKSTER] previously working as a Scam caller Yakov is seen as a shrewd and skilful con artist who seemingly never acts to protect anyone but himself, often retaining a considerable sense of skepticism. despite his cool and laid back demeanour- Although he rarely acknowledges it, Yakov has very little patience. He’s irritable and he can be quite hot-headed when provoked.with a cigarette in his mouth in practically every shot Yakov is more insightful than he appears to be, frequently saying what people need to hear rather than what they want to hear. he’s lived a relatively mundane life all things considered.
| Criminal offences | Notes | Year |
|---|---|---|
| healthcare fraud | N/A | 1945 |
| identity fraud | claims to be the only living relatives of dementia patients | 1948 |
| embezzlement | N/A | 1949 |
| false advertising | Claimed to sell ‘flavoured soap’ that was filled with laxatives | 1949 |
| telemarketing fraud | N/A | 1950 |
| mass destruction/ conspiracy | Orchestrating and executing a high-profile incident | 1950 |
Yakov can be sleazy yet quick-witted and knowledgeable about legal loopholes. He’s underhanded and grew up lying about his name, his age (getting tattooed at 15) and just about everything else. This makes it difficult to know much about his life. He pretends to be less able bodied for “business” reasons, (its for parking spots) and claims to have once successfully impersonated esteemed ceo from the Schafer family at a party.he supposedly graduated from law school but Your guess is as good as mine whether the degree is legit.Yakov played the drums when he was a teenager, the hobby never stuck into his adulthood but he is constantly thinking about getting back into it. though that day never seems to come.Heres Yakovs spotify playlist, admittedly Yakovs playlist is my favourite and is the one that aligns the most with me as a person, its pretty much old school rock
IMPORTANT NOTICES
| Prominent markings/observations | info |
|---|---|
| Tattoos | Yakov is adorned in full body tattoos all the way to his fingertips. most notably the lucky clover symbolism on his hands and crosses on his knuckles. |
| eyelashes | he has long eyelashes. is it mascara? who knows |